The View From The Pew: Eraser Phrases

I have been thinking of “eraser phrases.” You know, the things we say when we need to undo something we have said or done. We all know them and even use them. As a service to my loyal readers (and all the rest of you, too) here is “Jerry Godsey’s Handy Dandy Eraser Phrase Guide:”

“Bless his heart.” You can say anything you want about someone as long as you begin the sentence by saying it. Like this, “Bless his heart, he’s dumber than a stump.” See, without the eraser phrase that’s downright mean, but with the eraser phrase it is somehow nicer

“With all due respect.” This eraser phrase allows us to take a swipe at someone who outranks us: “With all due respect, sir, that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.” A lot of people who have been fired used this phrase. It doesn’t always work, evidently…

“I don’t mean that in a bad way.” I got this one from comedian Dom Irrera . He calls it the Italian eraser phrase. Here’s how Dom uses it: “That guy is a lowlife scummy little fat rat weasel… I don’t mean that in a bad way.” See, the eraser phrase makes it okay.

“…but I’m not a bigot.” Often used by bigots to hide the fact that they are indeed bigots: “I can’t stomach dealing with Slobovians, but I’m not a bigot.” Yeah, tell that to the Slobovians…

“God bless him.” This is one of the Christian eraser phrases. It’s used like this: “He’s just not a nice person, God bless him.” It doesn’t have the panache of some of the other ones, but it does feel religious, so people use it.

“I’m only telling you this so you can pray about it…” Ahhh, the most often used Christian eraser phrase. Somehow we think that we can gossip all we want if we use this phrase. “Well, you know he’s committing adultery and his kids are a mess. But I’m only telling you this so you can pray for him.” Truth be told, all a Christian needs to hear is: “He’s having some problems…” and they will get to praying. Anything beyond that is gossip masquerading as a prayer request.

And finally, God has an eraser phrase of his own. I doubt he is real pleased with any of the other ones, but this eraser phrase is close to his heart.

“You are forgiven.” There it is. The ultimate eraser phrase. When God says this, all of your past sins are gone, not to be brought up ever again. The difference between God’s eraser phrase and all the others is that God’s phrase really works. It truly does erase everything that came before it. In fact, it’s already done. God has already forgiven us, all we have to do is accept it. How sad that so many people will walk around with their hearts torn up and burdened, hanging their heads and wondering if their life is really all it is supposed to be. They act happy on the outside, yet inside they know something is missing. They need to apply God’s eraser phrase.

So how do you apply the phrase? A simple prayer that says, “God, I accept your forgiveness. Please make my life yours…” BANG! The eraser phrase gets applied and you are on the road to a better life. It really is that easy. Drop me a line at jerry@remnantchurchonline.com if you have questions about what’s next. You’re going to love your new life!
Applying God’s eraser phrase to myself… Jerry

His Name Is Josiah...

His name is Josiah. He’s not even a week old yet, and he is already able to post on Remnant’s internet bulletin board. You have to admit, that’s pretty impressive for a 60 hour old baby!

I don’t usually say babies are pretty because, let’s be honest, they usually aren’t. The birth process is brutal, and it takes its toll on a baby at first. Remember the Play-Do Fuzzy Pumper Barber Shop? You place a cylinder of yellow Play-Do in a little tube, then you push a handle and the Play-Do is extruded (that’s a fancy word for crammed) through a little grid and voila, your Play-Do is now like spaghetti! The birth process is a lot like that. The baby is all snug in a nice warm place, floating around, minding his own business, then BANG, he get’s forced out through this little opening into a cold room. People with masks are looking down at him, and some person in scrubs welcomes him to the world by smacking him on the backside! Welcome to the world, little guy! That process has got to take its toll on a kid.

Most babies look a lot like Edward G. Robinson (without the cigar, of course), their faces are all scrunched up, their heads are kind if misshapen, and they have the coloring of a pink grapefruit. Not pretty.

Josiah, on the other hand looks really good. He has hair, his face is really cute, and he doesn’t cry much. At least I haven’t heard him. 

The cool thing about Josiah is that he is just like God made him right now. He has boundless possibilities. He doesn’t understand hate or prejudice. He hasn’t had to do math yet, so he doesn’t know whether he is good at it or not. He hasn’t failed at anything, he’s never been angry with anyone, except maybe the person who smacked his rump upon arrival. He could be a missionary, a President of the United States, a pastor, a teacher, a garbage collector. Josiah could be anything!

Right now he is a blank slate. Josiah’s parents, Debi and Jeremiah, have a huge responsibility to raise him so he can be whatever god wants him to be. They are up to the task. So Josiah is in good hands. The rest of us who surround him and move in and out of his life are important too, He will learn a lot from us by interacting with us. Unfortunately, sometimes he will learn things he shouldn’t learn from the people around him.  When he learns to read, he will read the bumper stickers with curse words that some morons put on their cars because they think it is funny. He will see hate in action, and prejudice, and bad attitudes. I guess when you think about it, God has given all of us the responsibility of Josiah and all of the other babies and children around us as well. 

Think about the children who learn from you daily. They may be the little kid in the shopping cart next to you at the store. They may be your neighbor, your niece, your nephew, your child. What are they learning from you? What are you teaching, not with your words, but with your life? 

As far as Josiah, he is the prettiest baby in the world. Unfortunately for him, that title will be short lived. There is a new most beautiful baby in the world on the horizon, his name is going to be Soren Paul, and he is supposed to show up right around April. He is my first grandbaby, and I am already buying Chargers gear for him!

Excited about one new, and one future, new human… Jerry