God Of This City: Say It, Don't Spray It

Hey, Folks, this is the text of my message from a couple of weeks ago. Due to a recording error, the sermon didn't get recorded. So I am printing the text of the message here since I belive it has some good stuff for us.

1 Peter 3:15 Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

Our text is a two-sentence seminar on how to share your faith Today we'll zero in on a phrase that shows us how to seize a witnessing opportunity. It is......give an answer to everyone who asks...

There is a difference between a rifle and a shotgun. A shotgun sprays tiny projectiles all over the place in a wide swath of destruction. It may or may not put all of its power and might in the right place, but it is bound to hit something!
A rifle on the other hand, fires a single projectile at subsonic speed to a single target and has devastating results. It concentrates all of its power and penetrates deeper.

When we share our faith with others, we should make sure of three things. First all,

1. Make Sure There Is An Indication of Interest

There is a reason I have call screening. One night during dinner, the phone rang. I answered and a voice I didn't recognize seemed to recognize mine. "Jerry! How's it going, bud?" I said, "Fine," thinking it must be someone I know. Then he started his spiel, sounding just like an AM radio deejay: "Hey, just wanted to let you know about this fantastic investment opportunity that I think would be just fabulous for you..." and with that, he was off to the races. I don't like to be rude to people, so I decided that when he stopped to take a breath, I would politely let him know I wasn't interested. I had no idea how long he could go without taking a breath. He never asked me if I was even slightly interested in hearing about his fabulous investment opportunity. He just assumed that I was, since I am (in his words) a sharp, intelligent, success-minded individual. Finally, thinking he had me in the grip of his pitch, he asked me a question: "Jerry, wouldn't it be nice to be able to provide your family with rock-solid financial security?"

I said, "Yes, as a matter of fact, it would. But right now my food is getting cold and this is not a good time for me to talk." I expected him to apologize for interrupting my meal and ask if he could call back, to which I would say, "No, thank you." I was not expecting him to say what he said next: "Jerry, this deal is too important to put off. When you hear me out, you'll agree that delaying a meal for a few minutes is a small price to pay for financial success." At this point I became a little annoyed, and said, "Sorry, but I'm hungry now. I'll get rich later." And I hung up.

Now, tell me by a show of hands. How many of you think I missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime by cutting that conversation short? Anyone? O.K. How many of you think I avoided a scam, or at the very least, an extremely questionable investment? Everyone?

We'll never know for sure, will we? We'll never know. His deal may have been legitimate, but his approach was so offensive, I couldn't bring myself to listen to it. And I want you to realize something. I wasn't rejecting the idea of investing money. I rejected him.

When I first began attending courses in how to witness, I was told again and again: Remember, they're not rejecting you, they're rejecting the message. That's not always the case. Sometimes it is not the message that offends a non Christian; it is the messenger.

A single mother told her pastor that one Saturday morning she was at the laundry mat with her three small children. The place was full of people, and she was juggling a half dozen loads of laundry between the washers and the dryers and the counter where you sort and fold your clothes, while, at the same time, trying to keep an eye on her children to make sure they didn't tear the place up or run off with a stranger, and she was doing all of this in a race with the clock because she had to get home and get ready for work. And then a man approached her and wanted to know if she was saved. She wasn't at that time. She needed to hear the gospel. And she knew in her heart that she needed to hear it, but he couldn't have picked a worse time to talk to her. She told the pastor, "If he had at least offered to help me fold my clothes, I not only would have gone to church with him, I would have married him." She was under an enormous amount of stress that day, and he was clueless. Her story has a good ending, because a few years later she did become a Christian. But it wasn't because a stranger approached her on a busy day at the laundry mat.

When we talk to someone about Jesus, we need to make sure the timing is right. Now understand this: If a person doesn't know the Lord, there is nothing more important in all the world than for them to hear the gospel. When you consider that one's eternal destiny is at stake, being a few minutes late for work is really quite insignificant. You know that, but they don't—especially if they've never met you before. For all they know, you're just a smooth talking salesman.

Peter said, "Give an answer to everyone who asks..." In other words, give them the opportunity to indicate an interest. Sharing your faith doesn't mean cornering strangers and preaching at them while they're in the middle of doing something else. Our message is important. In fact, it's so important that we are obligated to take the extra effort to make sure the time is right and they are ready to hear us—or else they just might reject the messenger and refuse to hear the message for a long time to come.

Am I saying that we shouldn't talk to strangers about Jesus? No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that we need to be sensitive to the circumstances and give them an opportunity to show interest.

Have you ever ambushed your friends with the Gospel? You know, come on strong and in the wrong place. Those kind of situations usually end with someone calling you a religious fanatic.

I see parents make this mistake with their children. Of course you want your children to have a dynamic relationship with Christ, but you can't beat it into them—figuratively or literally. When you talk to them about Jesus, make sure they are receptive to what you are saying.

When you share your faith, first make sure they have indicated an interest in what you're saying.

2. Make sure it's a dialogue, not a monologue.

I've told this story before. A few years ago and I overheard a conversation, except it wasn't a conversation—it was a monologue. Two women were seated on a sofa by the front desk in a hotel lobby. The one doing all the talking was telling the one doing all the listening how wonderful it is to be a Christian. The listener looked extremely uncomfortable, and the talker seemed to be completely unaware. The man standing next to me at the counter told me the woman had cornered him in the bookstore the day before and had talked non-stop for half an hour.

I don't think that's what Peter had in mind. The phrase "give an answer to everyone who asks" implies that there is some give and take going on. Asking and answering, back and forth. It's a dialogue.

When we share our faith, this is something we need to watch out for—we need to continually ask ourselves "Am I doing all the talking? Am I including them in this conversation, or am I just preaching at them?" I will tell you this: If they're not asking questions, if they're not making comments, if there's no give and take in the conversation, you're losing them.

This is the exact opposite of how I was originally taught to witness. In my first witnessing class I was given a sure-fire sales pitch to memorize. It included some questions I was to ask them, but I was taught not to answer their questions! I was told that trying to answer a question would only get you off track. I was told that people will sometimes ask a question as a "diversionary tactic" to intentionally get you off the subject...they'll try to trick you into not telling them about Jesus.

Folks, this is the kind of thing they tell vacuum cleaner salesmen, or encyclopedia salesmen, or any other salesman for that matter. A salesman's job is to persuade a prospect to purchase a product. And a good salesman can do that whether the prospects needs it or not. When a prospect asks a question that has the potential of taking the salesman off track, he skillfully deflects the diversionary tactic and gets back to his pitch. When the prospect raises an objection, the salesman is ready with an answer.

"But I can't afford your vacuum cleaner."

"Oh, but our model is energy-efficient, unlike the BrandX model you currently use, so with our model you'll see dollars shaved off your utility bill every month. In fact, if money is the issue, you can't afford not to buy our vacuum cleaner, because the money you save in electricity will more than cover the cost of our economically priced unit. And what's more, it purrs like a kitten; you can barely hear it run--you'll be able to watch your soaps while you do your housework! So, I guess that settles it. There's nothing hold you back now, is there? Do you want to pay for this with a check, or would you prefer to put it on your credit card?"

That may work in sales, but it doesn't work in witnessing. People don't like to be "sold." If they think you're only interested in getting them to "buy your religion", they'll avoid you like the plague.

Practically every evangelism course I've taken, and most of the books I've read on the subject, offer advice for how to deal with "diversionary questions." Just assuming the existence of diversionary questions shows that we're taking the wrong approach to sharing our faith. When I'm witnessing to someone, I want them ask questions. I pray that they will ask questions. Because I know the more they talk about the things of Christianity that they don't understand, the closer they're getting to accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior.

I had a kid ask, out of the blue, once, "Do you know what I've always wondered? Where did Cain get his wife?" If I had relied on my training, I would have thought: "This is a diversionary question. He's trying to get me off course. He knows I'm about to talk about sin and repentance and Lordship, and he's trying to sidestep the issue." If I had relied on my training I would have said, "That's a very interesting question. Do you mind if we leave it on the side for the time being?" And then I would have gotten back to my presentation of the gospel.

But I didn't see this guy as a prospective customer, or as a potential tither. I saw him as a friend. When you talk to a friend, do you demand that the conversation adhere to your chosen path, or do you let it go whichever direction it happens to go? The latter, obviously. So when he asked that question, I tried to answer. I said, "Who knows? There are a couple of different theories, but we can't really be sure which one is right." We talked for several minutes about creation, and then the theory of evolution, and before I knew it we were talking about that 1960's movie called "One Million B.C." starring Raquel Welch! Talk about diversions!

I wanted to talk to him about how to be saved, and I was trying to think of a tactful way to bring the conversation back to the plan of salvation, when he suddenly said, "I've been thinking a lot lately about some things...and I really want God to be in my life." I recognized that as my cue; a few minutes later he asked Christ to be the Lord of his life. There's no way of knowing, but I can't help but wonder: if I had tried to deflect his question earlier, would the conversation still have ended the same way? It probably would have, but it certainly didn't hurt that I talked to him like a friend and not a prospect.

One of the biggest mistakes we make when we witness is to "take charge" of the conversation and keep it on track. People see through that, and they equate it with salesmanship, not friendship. When you talk to people about the Lord, make sure it's a dialogue, not a monologue. Thirdly, when you share your faith...

3. Look for ways to nudge the door open.

Several years ago, I struck up a conversation with a school principal. She didn't know yet that I'm a preacher, or that I'm a Christian. During the conversation she casually mentioned that she sings in the choir at church. A few minutes later, when we were talking about the school's new technology center and she said, "This is an answer to prayer. Last year I asked God to give us some new computers for the school, and look at how he provided for us!" A few minutes later she told me that she prays for each of the children by name. She had no idea that she was talking to a "fellow religious fanatic." But I know what she doing. She was nudging the door open, to let me know that I could talk to her about spiritual things if I wanted to. I soon discovered that many parents come to her advice when their kids get into trouble, and she always takes the opportunity to tell them about Jesus.

Let people know that you're available...that they can talk to you about matters of faith when they're ready. They might not feel comfortable pouring out their soul the first day they meet you, but if you keep nudging the door, eventually they'll open it all the way.

CONCLUSION

Peter tells us "Be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks..."

Let me tell you something. They will ask. When they see the difference in your life, they will ask. When they get a glimpse of your joy, they will ask. When they see you endure trials, or refuse to compromise your convictions, or respond to harsh treatment with loving forgiveness, they will ask. And when they do, you'll be ready to say, "This is what God has done for me, and this is what he can do for you."

The View From The Pew: Critical Incident Management

Even though I am in the ministry, I am not a real “warm and fuzzy” kind of guy. My children ran to their mom when they had “owies.” Their mom would get out the Bactine and Band Aids, kiss them on the forehead and send them on their way. Their dad would say, “Nice trophy, dude!” Not a lot of comfort there, I am afraid.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a very compassionate person. I hurt with the hurting, I can cry with those who are sad. I cried at “Ole Yeller” and during “Brian’s Song,” but not during “Little House on the Prairie.” A man has to have limits…

So when I went to the class on Critical Incident Stress Management I wasn’t sure what to expect. I figured it would be an extension of what I had learned in my ministry years, and I would be able to apply most of what I already knew to the class.

I was wrong. Dead wrong. The teacher and I could not be more opposite in some ways. At first I took her as a kind of “touchie-feelie, let’s all meditate on our belly button” kind of lady. I thought my suspicions were confirmed when she brought out a candle to light on our first day. Then she got out the guitar and played a meditation for us. I thought I had her all figured out. Once again, I was wrong.

What I found was that all of my years of ministry hasn’t always helped me deal with critical incidents. There is no class in college that tells you how to handle people when you have to tell them their loved one is dead. Oh, we get pastoral counseling classes, but you can only learn so much from a book. In my 27 years of ministry I have had to deal with death and dying many times. It is never easy, and never the same. The notification and funeral are the easy parts. How do you prepare a person for living without their trusted companion and best friend for the rest of their life? How do you help someone cope with the empty home they will face after everybody leaves? What words do I have that can make it all better for someone whose whole life has changed?

The bottom line is that I don’t have those words, nobody does. I have struggled with what to say in those times. I have held grown men as they wept over the loss of a child. I have marveled at the inner strength of a woman who lost a husband and mother within a week of each other. I have personally felt relief at the loss of a grandpa and grandma whose suffering was relieved by death. The only thing those situations had in common was that words didn’t help, and they didn’t matter.

Janet Childs, the woman with the candle and guitar, taught us that we need to help people find the “new normal” in their lives. We are so busy trying to tell people that everything will be okay that we don’t realize that everything is different now. What we need to do is support them, love them, and care for them as they discover how their life is different now.

The new normal applies to other parts of our lives as well. People who accept Christ find their life includes a new normal. A new life where they have peace instead of discord, joy instead of sorrow, and heaven as a promise of things to come. Not a bad new normal, and one we all need.

Still not touchie-feelie… Jerry

Year-round Trick or Treating

I just ran across this article I wrote in 1999--wow! that was a long time ago! So I thought I'd post it for the sake of nostalgia. Enjoy! (or don't, depending on how it strikes you.)

On October 31, all around the country, children of all ages will be putting on disguises. There will be princesses, goblins, ghosts, clowns, mummies, pirates and more. Some will be clever, intricate and attentive to detail. Others will be simple and inexpensive, a merit only to child-like creativity. All very different in appearance but the same in purpose: To disguise the identity of its host and provide the anonymity needed to accomplish the evening’s quest.

I marvel at the striking similarities of this season’s tradition to human behavior. How often is the mask of hypocrisy donned to hide the true state of the heart? The costumes shift and change, but it’s all just an attempt to disguise the condition of the soul. Some of these disguises are intricate and detailed—a lifetime of pretense. Others are defensive and reflexive—a conditioned response of the sinful nature searching for a quick and easy escape. But these disguises are not just paraded in the eyes of men; we foolishly cling to the hope that somehow God cannot see through the façade. Finally, when this masquerade has run its course, we find it difficult to distinguish between what is truth and what is a lie. Sound familiar? Just look around you –or inside you.

“What can I do about it?” you might ask—and I’m glad you did. Well, as far as the masks that others wear . . . absolutely nothing. Now your own veneer, that’s a different story. There is something to be said about living a life of transparency. That is, being the same person alone in a private room that you are in public view. And maybe, just maybe if you strip off your camouflage, others will follow suit.
Then, “we can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have lived with a God-given holiness and sincerity in all our dealings. We have depended on God’s grace, not on our own human wisdom. . .” 2 Corinthians 1:12

Let’s determine to leave “trick or treating” to Halloween.

~Jeremiah

“Religulous” The View From The Pew for this week

    Bill Maher has a new movie coming out called, "Religulous." The website for the movie describes it as sacrilegious. Maher says, "With religious fanatics like George Bush and Osama bin Laden now taking over the world…" And I love this line, "Join me in the final battle between intelligence and stupidity that will decide the future of humanity."

Now, you may be expecting a diatribe against Maher and the makers of this film. You might think that I would rant and rave about how blasphemous Maher and his filmmaker buddies are.

You would be wrong. You see, Bill Maher doesn't offend me. Oh, his words are less than fair, and his smirk makes me want to offer him free dental work, but he doesn't offend me.

Why not? Because Bill Maher is ignorant. I don't mean that pejoratively. I mean ignorant in the truest definition of the word. Dictionary.com defines ignorant this way: "Lacking education or knowledge. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge: an ignorant mistake. Unaware or uninformed."

It would be as unfair to be mad at Bill Maher for this film as it would be to be mad at a preschooler who can't do calculus. They don't have the requisite knowledge, they don't understand, and they can't figure it out.

The story is told of a theologian lecturing to a group of preachers. At the end of his presentation, he concluded unequivocally that Jesus could not possibly have resurrected.

One frail, elderly African-American preacher with snowy white hair pulled himself up, and asked this learned man of God if he might ask a small question.

The old man opened his lunch sack and started to eat an apple. "I'm just a poor old preacher," he began, (Chomp, Chomp, Swallow), "who hasn't the education (Chomp. Chomp. Swallow) as you, sir, but (Chomp. Chomp. Swallow), I have a question for you."

The old man held up the core of his apple and said, "Was this apple sweet or sour?" The scholar seemed befuddled and said, "Why, how could I know that? I've never tasted your apple." The old man put the apple core into his lunch sack, folded it neatly, then looked that man dead in the eye and said, "That's right." said the old man, "And you don't know my Jesus, either." And then he sat down.

Bill Maher's biggest problem is that he's never met Jesus. He can say all of the things about Jesus he wants to, but he is just spitting in the wind. As my grandpa said once, "He knows as much about Jesus as a pig knows about Sunday."

Who is really to blame for Maher's film? Who should I be angry at? How about all the people who had a chance to share a loving Jesus with Maher and failed to do so. How about the people who to this day will shout and shake their finger in his face, forgetting all about how Jesus would have handled the situation?

Jesus died on the cross for Bill Maher, the very cross that Maher rejects and ridicules. Jesus loves Bill Maher, even though Maher scoffs at Jesus and his followers.

You may know a Bill Maher in the making. Are you reaching out to them in love? Are you showing them the benefits of following Christ? That is our job. If we as Christians do not show the world what is so good about following Christ we can expect many more films like this one. I am going to fight, but I am going to do it in love. You know, the way Jesus did…

Reaching out to cynics… Jerry